Some ideas from a day I spent on a train the other day:
- Sneeze explosively across the person sitting next to you and their work.
- Picking your nose and then eating it. In full view.
- Invading the space of the person sitting next to you. Who wasn’t big to start with.
- Shouting “Minnie Mouse” very loudly and repeatedly. (This particular perpetrator was very young).
- Asking said perpetrator to be quiet, but clearly not expecting them to obey.
- Coughing up your guts and sounding like you might not last out the journey. (Ok, I did feel some sympathy there)
- Asking your child “Have you done a poo?” when they are practically sitting on you, while you are eating your lunch. Said poo was way too close to my baguette.
- Letting your child poke their fingers forward to your seat and touch your arm, in a way that would be creepy if they were more than 3 years old.
- (One for the officials) Not providing plastic boxes for personal belongings going into the X-Ray machine. Said baguette nearly ended up squashed by a suitcase.
- (Again, one for the officials) Making someone remove their belt while lunch is getting squashed in the above fashion.
- (Final official one) Looking like you might shoot the person who goes to rescue lunch while still removing belt.
- Buying MacDonalds for lunch for your family, and the paper bag exploding everywhere. Rejecting help from anyone offering to carry either family, bags or lunch.
And all of these happened on my journey home. The last made me think the most. How much do I reject help when it is offered? “No, I really don’t need you to carry my bag. I’ll just keep on struggling by myself. It’s balanced really….” CRASH
“Of course I can manage!” Hmm.
But the rest were rather amusing. Afterwards…
Calling into the silence 