Going down to Mystic, Louisiana
Looking for the meaning in the dirt
This is my story, my story is my glory
My shame, my comfort, my hurt
Is your story your glory? How has God been working in your life? How is the bad stuff being redeemed by the God who sees our shame and hurt and gives us comfort?
Today I shared my testimony with a fairly large group of friends. For the first time in a big group setting, it was unedited, uncut and unabridged. What really happened. Even the bits that are really quite embarrassing or simply just painful.
I felt as if I was laying myself bare. I’m quite happy to share my testimony normally, unless I don’t want to make myself too vulnerable with someone (mostly a pride issue with people I don’t like or don’t trust), but I haven’t really had the courage to share the story of abuse with many people.
Someone warned me afterwards to make sure I didn’t always share to that depth as it could leave me very vulnerable. But then it had been my decision to share what I did, and I don’t think I regret it.
Somehow I want to be able to be vulnerable to people, but work out how to do it without being hurt in the process. Being as wise as serpents and as innocent as doves is coming to mind, in the words of Jesus to his disciples. Something to think about, anyway.
So, someone asked me earlier if I would be up for talking at their church youth group about some of my story and my issues, in the hope that it might help people see that self-harm, depression and self-image problems are widespread and not the elephant in the room that no one talks about.
And that then got me thinking – how do you think people should respond to self harm? Should it be an easy topic of conversation, or not? Should everyone know about it, or would that then encourage others to follow suit? How do you even go about telling someone that you have self-harmed?
Some of these have gone so wrong for me. I didn’t talk about it enough with one friend to the extent that she thought scissors would make a good birthday present. Others have been determined to fix things, or have told me how I should feel. But some have been brilliant.
So, I am interested to know – what has your experience been?
Calling into the silence 